Once upon a time in the grand land of American capitalism, businesses thrived on one simple principle: they loved and needed customers. Whether you were flipping burgers or selling cars, you needed folks walking through that door handing over their hard-earned cash. But, it seems, not all businesses thrive under this logic. Enter the curious case of the Somali daycares. These establishments, for some reason, seem to survive without needing or wanting any customers at all. Quite the mystery, isn’t it?

Now imagine someone strolling into one of these daycares, eager to sign up their little tyke. You’d think they’d be met with open arms and brochures. Surprisingly, they encounter locked doors and probing questions instead. One would-be customer, Nick Shirley, found himself turned away, not with a smile, but because of, would you believe it, the color of his skin. Yes, the welcoming committee had a curious criterion for denying service: sheer fear based on skin tone.

Every time an investigative reporter tries to venture into these mysterious childcare centers, they’re met with a quizzical “Why?” As though asking to check out the facility or expect an application form is akin to asking for the moon. They’re told off the property faster than you can say “nursery rhyme.” And if these folks decide to push a little harder, requesting proof of being a legitimate daycare, it’s like asking to unveil the arcane secrets of an ancient society.

The real kicker is, upon peeling back the layers of these daycare operations, what’s found is a whole lot of nothing. No kiddie toys, no laughter echoing through the hallways, just an empty facade possibly built on paper to siphon taxpayer dollars. It’s all hats and no cattle, as they say. The unfortunate implication here is a possible fraudulence—illusions of bustling daycare activity to pocket funds without babysitting as much as a teddy bear.

One might think, in a world as bewildering as this, the call for some good old federal scrutiny is long overdue. After all, if legitimate business owners can thrive by serving their community, why shouldn’t all businesses play by the same rules? Perhaps it’s time for some serious attention from those in power, ensuring that every business, daycare or otherwise, operates as openly and fairly as our cherished hamburger joints and car dealers do.