In the land of sunshine, oranges, and occasionally misguided folks, Florida has done it again. Known for its theme parks, swampy landscapes, and heat that could make Hades sweat, the Sunshine State has now decided to try its hand at penning a suspense thriller. Dubbed “Alligator Alcatraz,” this new spectacle appeared faster than you can say “vacation retreat.” But unlike Disney World, this is one place you’d want to stay clear of, unless you’re in the market for a mosquito-ridden, gator-infested getaway.

Imagine a prison surrounded by a menagerie of ferocious alligators and swarming clouds of mosquitoes, where one’s life turns into a bizarre game of survival. It’s a nightmare concocted by a team of Hollywood’s best—or perhaps just a very creative Florida construction crew. Five thousand bed spaces await those who will call this isolated fortress home, situated 50 miles west of Miami on an isolated airstrip. It’s the kind of spot where GPS decides to take a leave of absence and messaging pigeons second-guess their career choices.

This detention facility, humorously labeled as a one-way ticket to nowhere, might welcome President Trump as one of its first notable visitors. And if the speculative script follows through, it could mean transforming the Florida wilderness into the most secure and feared incarceration venue in this timeline. Why trek all the way to the middle of nowhere? Apparently, having a moat full of alligators wasn’t enough to deter adventurous trespassers, and the natural defenses may serve as a theatrical stronghold against threats.

Of course, this setup isn’t just for aesthetics. It’s the embodiment of political strategy by the state, possibly intended to demonstrate Florida’s own version of a media circus. The juxtaposition of nature’s fiercest creatures and human-made barriers has likely left a few folks on either side of the political aisle scratching their heads. For those in support, it’s a theatrical stronghold against threats. For the skeptics, it’s another swamp-tale cooked up by Florida’s best and brightest minds.

While one does need a sense of humor to fully appreciate the gravity and absurdity of Alligator Alcatraz, the show must go on. Whether this becomes a testament to taking decisive action or simply another footnote in American planning endeavors, time will tell. For now, it’s just another day in Florida—land of the free, home of the brave, and, possibly, the world’s most peculiar idea of justice administration. Fasten your seatbelts, folks. It’s going to be a wild ride.