In today’s episode of “Politics Meets Everyday America,” we find ourselves at the local Walmart, where opinions on the recent election are as varied as the shelf stock during a pre-storm rush. Our unofficial roving reporter took to the aisles to gauge the political temperature, and let’s just say, the results were anything but predictable.

First up, an eager shopper who didn’t mince words or seconds when naming his pick. You might think the former president himself was handing out coupons, considering how fast the response was—a resounding vote for Trump. Another shopper was quick to chime in, delighted that Trump snagged the win. Clearly, he was at least as enthusiastic about it as the latest Mega Sale in aisle seven.

Then, there’s the curious case of someone who cast their enthusiastic vote for Kamala Harris. Asked for one of her accomplishments, the stunned silence ran longer than the checkout line before Thanksgiving. But hey, at least expectations remained consistently high, with ‘integrity’ cited as the reasoning. Follow-up questions? She ducked and dodged those with the agility of a Black Friday shopper.

Meanwhile, some folks decided to get creative with their ballot, casting their vote for none other than Jesus. If there was ever a write-in candidate to disrupt politics as usual, it would seem Jesus is it. But as for why, well, the explanation was as elusive as a hot toy during Christmas season.

And finally, we arrived at the grand finale, or what could’ve been the punchline to a long joke. When asked why they chose Kamala Harris over Trump, the weary voter decided, “I’m done with that guy,” perhaps referring to Trump, Harris, or just politics in general. Either way, the response was as clear as the directions on most IKEA furniture.

In the end, our snapshot of Walmart politics mirrored a classic American melting pot—a little bit of everything. Whether for humor or bemusement, these varied, off-the-cuff responses highlight the colorful patchwork of political opinion all wrapped up neatly between bargains and bulk buys. Until next election, the aisles of Walmart promise to keep echoing with the curious symphony of democracy in its rawest form.