So, grab your parka and settle in because we’re taking a chilly trip to Minnesota, where protests recently plopped themselves right outside a hotel in Minneapolis—because apparently, nothing says “I’m passionate about social justice” quite like freezing your nose off while harassing sleepy travelers. Yep, you heard it right. While the rest of us are snuggled up warm at home, some folks decided that following protest signs was more important than following common sense.
Picture this: it’s a frigid night—so cold that even the penguins are reconsidering their life choices—and instead of sipping hot cocoa, a group of protesters decided to take their tenacity to the next level by following Iceites (we guess that’s a fancy term for ice hockey players) to their hotel rooms. What could be more exhilarating at 10 p.m. than tailing unsuspecting athletes and demanding they listen to your grievances? But let’s be real. One does have to ask—where do these people find the energy? It’s like they’ve replaced sleep with protest signs and a heaping dose of browsing social media for outrage-worthy material.
Authorities quickly stepped in, issuing a “public safety order” to disperse the crowd. It makes you wonder, though, if anyone actually thought through the logistics of protesting in a snowstorm at that hour. Do they have jobs? Or are they just really dedicated to making a variety of cold-weather fashions with wool gloves and homemade signs? Because if you ask this crew, their ultimate goal at that moment surely felt like a night out under the Minnesota stars—or should we say, Minnesota snowflakes?
And let’s talk about the classic line we hear during the chaos, “I know my rights.” This phrase is often uttered by folks whose rights seem to evaporate faster than a hot coffee outside in sub-zero temperatures. With the police deeming the gathering an unlawful assembly, it raises an eyebrow. Let’s be honest here—who are they protecting? Or serving, for that matter? It’s like a game of “who can create more unnecessary drama,” and in this case, what’s at stake is not only the right to free speech but also the right to not be woken up by people chanting at your hotel door.
However, to assume that all this energy and enthusiasm is entirely organic is a little naïve. Some might argue these are paid protesters, clocking in hours like they’re working a 9 to 5, instead of spending that time building snowmen or enjoying a good old-fashioned snowball fight. I mean, what’s the pay rate for a midnight protest followed by frostbite? Do they have health benefits for icicle-related injuries? There’s got to be a better way to stay warm on freezing nights than standing outside in the elements trying to make a point!
In the grand scheme of things, it’s essential to have conversations about pressing issues, but when protests turn into an impromptu frozen chase scene, it makes you wonder if we’ve taken the scenic route in our pursuit of change. Maybe next time, they could opt for a more comfortable venue. How about indoors? Or better yet, host a rally at a warm coffee shop instead of subjecting themselves and others to the icy reality of life in Minnesota? After all, there’s more to life than braving the cold just to sprinkle a dash of chaos on someone else’s peaceful night. So let’s hear it for staying warm and making points without turning into snowmen in the process!
