It seems like the world never runs out of surprises, and not the good kind like chocolate cake or puppies. Recently, a story emerged that truly showcases the circus act that our legal system has become, especially in New York. Picture this: a pro-life activist, who we’ll call Miss A, was minding her own business trying to interview folks about Planned Parenthood when, out of nowhere, she became the star of a real-life episode of “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” She got assaulted, filmed it, and guess what? Instead of pressing charges against her assailant, the whole legal system shrugged its shoulders and said, “Meh.”

Now, for those who missed the latest episode of the “Justice Department Soap Opera,” let’s unpack what went down. Miss A was attacked by a woman, whom we’ll refer to as Ms. B, while trying to exercise her First Amendment right. The whole kerfuffle was caught on camera, making it the sort of evidence judges dream about. But guess what? The charges were downgraded faster than you can say “bureaucratic mix-up.” From felony assault to a misdemeanor — talk about a glow-up, right?

What’s really rich about this story is the fact that, after the dust settled and the media frenzy simmered down, the prosecutor on the case turned out to be an intern fresh out of law school. Now, interns are great for making coffee and sorting files, but not exactly the best choice for handling a case that’s practically screaming “serious!” The prosecutors seemingly decided to hand over this significant case to someone still figuring out how to file a legal brief, essentially saying, “Hey, let’s see what happens!” Spoiler alert: what happened was that they let the case fall through the cracks like last week’s leftovers.

Meanwhile, back in our legal black hole—also known as the office of the Manhattan District Attorney—Miss A was left in the dark while her legal dreams were crumbling faster than a house of cards at a windy picnic. Her calls and emails were met with silence as if her story didn’t matter. Talk about being ghosted on a grand scale. You’d think in a city that never sleeps, the lawyers would have at least gone through their messages. But nope, radio silence! With such a lack of communication, you’d think they were all on some kind of modern-day “Do Not Respond” list—except this isn’t consumer complaints; it’s a case of actual assault.

But let’s not forget Ms. B, the assailant, who is living her best life, seemingly enjoying the perks of this lack of accountability. Reports say she continues to make fun of the attack, perhaps even dropping diss tracks like they’re hot. If only the art of diss tracks weighed as heavily in the courtroom as actual evidence. Maybe she ought to consider a career in rap, where it seems the only thing catching a break is the art of wordplay—not her violent actions.

This entire situation shines a light on a greater issue—the breakdown of legal justice for everyday people. While politicians and legal teams are busy playing hot potato with important cases, real individuals are left in the lurch, wondering if their rights actually mean anything at all. This isn’t just an isolated incident; it’s a glaring reflection of how our justice system can sometimes prioritize politics over people. It leaves everyone from conservatives to progressives scratching their heads, questioning if justice is truly “blind” or just “selectively seeing” what it wants to.

In the end, the only takeaway from this unfolding drama might be two-fold: always know who’s handling your legal matters, and never underestimate the power of a diss track in today’s culture. At this rate, who knows? The next time someone gets assaulted in the line of duty while exercising their rights, we’ll just expect an album to drop instead of a police report. Welcome to life in 2023!