In the land of sunshine, surfboards, and, apparently, misplaced political fervor, an Orange County high school student named Zack Hornstein has found himself suspended — not for anything particularly scandalous, like launching a surprise water balloon fight or trying to scale the flagpole for a midday selfie. Nope, Zack was just sporting a Make America Great Again (MAGA) hat. That’s right; a hat! Who knew Donald Trump’s headgear could turn a simple school day into an episode of “Survivor: Laguna Beach?”

Now, for anyone who might think wearing a red hat with white letters is as harmless as wearing a T-shirt with a cute dog on it, think again. In this case, it sparked more drama than a three-part Taylor Swift documentary. The saga began when a fellow student, feeling particularly valiant on that fateful day of September 11, decided to take matters into her own hands. She boldly snatched the hat from Zack’s head and threw it in the trash, reportedly after a colorful exchange of insults regarding President Trump. Classic high school, right? Who needs a schoolyard brawl when you can have an ideological throwdown instead?

Zack, in his defense, claims he was merely standing in solidarity with Charlie Kirk, a conservative commentator. So there he was, minding his own business, trying to navigate the treacherous waters of high school social dynamics while showing his support. But alas, the turf was not friendly. When the hat was tossed, and tempers flared, Zack allegedly responded with a cheeky comment about Canada being an open option if the hat-haters didn’t like it in America. Ah, the classic “if you don’t like it, there’s the exit” line! If only each dismissal of a political view came with a one-way ticket.

But instead of a round of applause for his quick wit, Zack got a two-day suspension for “harassment.” Yes, folks, you read that right. Wearing a hat and exchanging some good-natured banter is now a punishable offense in America’s schools. Where was this rule when teachers were grading my spelling based on their mood? Perhaps I could have worn a prophetic t-shirt that read “Be Kind” to avoid getting a C in math. Seriously, people have been sent home for far less!

Of course, Zack’s mother is raising a valid point about double standards. Should one student’s immediate reaction lead to the suspension of another? It seems like a toss-up between who can shout the loudest and who can wield the “victim” card more effectively. In a world where political expression is often a game of dodge-ball, one has to wonder: should students simply keep their beliefs to themselves and avoid the fiery crossfire of teenage emotions? That might just be the smartest survival technique since avoiding the lunch lady’s mystery meat.

In the end, while schools are supposed to be places of learning, it’s become clear that political expression is a minefield of potential misunderstandings. Who knew getting an education would come bundled with the risk of being suspended over a hat? So, here’s to you, Zack, for taking a stand (or wearing a hat!). May the lessons gleaned from this saga provide you with a wealth of stories for future political banter — or at least a cautionary tale for the next generation of brave MAGA hat wearers. Keep calm and wear your hats at your own risk, kids!