Politics in America is a lot like a soap opera, and Nancy Pelosi seems to be starring in the latest episode. Recently, all eyes were on her jaw-dropping stock portfolio, leaving many scratching their heads. How does one rack up a quarter of a billion dollars on a public servant salary? Sneaky stock investments, it appears! Yes, Congress, in its infinite wisdom, has caught on, passing a stock trading ban targeting politicians with impeccable timing—like Nancy herself.

Let’s be clear: we’re in awe of Nancy Pelosi’s stock-picking prowess. Her portfolio’s performance puts even Wall Street’s finest hedge funds in the shade. The woman has somehow managed to beat the stock market with the same precision of a trained marksman, leaving even the wolves of Wall Street staring in awe. Of course, some would say she’s no ordinary trader; more like an oracle with insider knowledge.

In a twist of classic political dramatics, the internet had a field day watching Pelosi’s legendary temper flare up. She danced around the subject with the nimbleness of a cat on a hot tin roof. Every sharp retort and dismissive wave of the hand was dissected, memed, and ridiculed by armchair pundits everywhere. Yet, beyond the laughs, lies a serious issue: the public’s trust in their representatives, and how it gets chipped away each time stories like these break the airwaves.

All in all, Nancy Pelosi’s stock market magic show may have just hit a snag with the new Congressional stock trading ban. But if this saga proves anything, it’s that there’s never a dull moment watching seasoned politicians sway like they’re in a salsa dance contest. As the new rules play out, one thing’s for sure: Popcorn sales are surely going up as we tune in to see who might be the next member of Congress to “miraculously” hit the jackpot, thanks to their insider intel.