In the latest round of political games, the name of the game seems to be “Who Was on Epstein’s Plane?” Everyone and their grandma seems to be trying to unravel the mystery of who flew with Jeffrey Epstein. It’s a bit like playing a twisted version of musical chairs, but instead of chairs, they’re sitting on a literal jet that you probably want to avoid at all costs. Who knew flying could be such a scandalous affair?

Let’s talk about the facts—or what passes for facts, these days. Former President Trump’s name appears in the flight logs of Epstein’s aircraft a solid seven times. Yes, you heard that right. Seven times! That’s like showing up to a buffet and being caught with a plate piled so high you could use it as a skyscraper model for your local architecture class. However, before anyone starts breaking out the tar and feathers, we’ve got to remember that just because you’re listed doesn’t mean you’re guilty of anything more than making poor choices about your travel companions.

On the other hand, there’s Bill Clinton, who racked up a whopping 26 times on the logs. It’s as if he took frequent flyer miles to new heights! If this were a contest, you’d expect some sort of award for that level of participation. Perhaps a VIP card that allows him to board private jets blindfolded, or maybe just a lifetime supply of “I Took a Trip with Epstein and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt.” But here’s where it gets murky: just because someone’s name is on a flight log doesn’t mean they’re collecting seashells on a mysterious island. They might have just been flying over it, glancing down and saying, “Hey, is that where they keep the secret sauce?” All rather dubious if you ask me.

Now, conversations surrounding the so-called list of people who actually went to Epstein’s infamous island have sparked plenty of debate. Some folks believe it exists, while others profess belief that it’s as real as unicorns wearing sunglasses. Some people, however, have been known to exit stage left whenever the topic comes up—as if the mere mention of a list is enough to make them vanish like a magician’s assistant. One can only wonder: are they hiding something, or are they just really bad at confronting the elephant in the room?

And let’s not forget about the cameras in Epstein’s homes, because nothing says “trustworthy” quite like an all-seeing eye lurking in the shadows. It has people speculating about what kind of “happy hour” parties were actually happening behind those closed doors. The record-keeping around there seems better than most businesses do on tax day. If those cameras could talk, they’d probably film the most gripping reality show no one would want to watch for fear of losing their lunch.

In the chaotic sea of political commentary and speculation, one thing becomes clear: the aviation industry clearly has its fair share of contentious characters. From flight logs to islands, it appears there’s more drama in these jet-setting escapades than in a season finale of any soap opera. So, the next time we’re debating the ethics of private jets and dubious destinations, let’s raise our glasses and toast to transparency – because when it comes to these flight logs, the only thing that should remain in the dark is the cabin lighting during a midnight flight!