In the wonderfully convoluted world of modern dating, one could argue that the advice people are inclined to follow is as perplexing as trying to decipher a cat’s meow. It seems that everyone these days is on the hunt for some sort of enlightenment—an esoteric guide that promises success in romance. As it turns out, however, there’s a surplus of truly disastrous dating advice to sift through, and in true libertarian spirit, let’s embrace the bad to see just how low we can go.
Take, for instance, the sage instruction to treat women like children. That’s right—the wisdom shared suggested that if a lady expresses herself emotionally, one simply must adopt a stoic silence, allowing her to spiral into the abyss of insecurity. Bravo! Because what says “I’m a mature adult” better than attempting to erase an emotional outburst by metaphorically shoving a blanket over it and hoping it goes away? Perhaps next on the agenda should be dragging one’s date into a sandpit and insisting she play in the kiddie zone.
And then, there’s the ever-popular trend of automating interpersonal connections with the sheer brilliance of artificial intelligence. The suggestion was to unleash the power of ChatGPT to craft flirtatious messages rather than employing one’s own creativity. If that isn’t the definition of romance, what is? Forget heartfelt conversation; why not let a soulless algorithm do the heavy lifting? Nothing instills passion like knowing one’s romantic advances were born from flashing lights and cascading code—genuine connection is overrated anyway.
Meanwhile, self-compassion has become the mantra of the insecure and bewildered. This involves individuals gazing deeply into the abyss of their own emotional turmoil, all the while dangling their arms around themselves as if they’re enveloping a pillow pet. It’s a cycle of self-indulgence that discourages actual relationships. After all, if you’re busy comforting yourself, you won’t have time to deal with others and those pesky interpersonal obligations that truly enrich human experience.
Of course, one must not overlook the lofty aims of dismantling the notorious “patriarchy.” In a baffling twist of logic, it seems the responsibility to “deconstruct toxic masculinity” lies solely on the shoulders of men, while women remain the passive spectators in their own dating dramas. This might sound alarm bells for anyone who believes relationships ought to be about two willing partners rather than a therapeutic haven for women to express themselves. How very progressive—because nothing says equality like sliding into the role of a martyr in someone else’s emotional play.
With a generous dollop of irony served on the side, the concept of emotional labor rears its head—the idea that men are blissfully unaware of the emotional complexities within a relationship. After being told, “Hey bro, that house isn’t clean,” is met with a vacant stare, it seems the strategies for round-the-clock emotional upkeep are left to the women, who must shoulder not just chores but the entire burdensome fabric of emotional well-being. On the bright side, it’s excellent practice for anyone keen to audition for a reality show titled “Who Can Sustain A Relationship By Themselves?”
In a world saturated with advice dripping in progressive goo, the best guidance often comes wrapped in the veneer of common sense and humor, pushing idealistic nonsense aside. The quaint idea of simply being honest, supportive, and respectful—a novel approach—might just save enough heartbreak for folks to navigate the dating pool with slightly fewer casualties. So rather than latching onto the ramblings of online dating gurus, perhaps it’s better to dust off a classic: genuine engagement, with no AI or psychological complexes required. After all, a loving relationship is meant to be a beautiful mess—not an emotional jigsaw puzzle created by well-meaning but misguided advice from the internet.
