The curtain has fallen, and the show is over before it even began, as Disney’s big-budget reimagining of “Snow White” crumbles into oblivion with all the grace of a pumpkin carriage past midnight. Rachel Zegler, leading lady and the tooth fairy of online controversies, probably got exactly what she unwittingly asked for when she told America to save its money and skip her movie. Surprise! Millions took her sage advice, and now the theaters are as empty as a politician’s promise.
The weekend buzz around “Snow White” was less about its enchantment and more about its unprecedented flop. Despite the towering $300 million budget and Disney’s often magical marketing prowess, some local IMAX screens reported goose eggs on ticket sales—zero, nada, zilch. It’s hard not to chuckle when America’s favorite house of mouse realizes its CGI-heavy heirloom can’t even conjure a single soul from couch to cinema seat, not even during the prime-time hours when popcorn should be popping.
Now, if you’re wondering how such a spectacle got the boot faster than a tired high school acting bug, look no further than the reviews. Critics, those handpicked brigade armed with Disney swag and sweet mouse ear hats, delivered their harsh verdicts. It’s a lowly 45% on Rotten Tomatoes, leaving the film less of a Snow White sensation and more of a stinky, seven-dwarfs disaster. From forgettable music to ghastly CGI, this Snow White seemed to trip over its own glass slippers right out of the gate.
As the reviews roll in, one might argue that Rachel Zegler is the only beacon in this cinematic storm. A handful of loyalists praise her performance, yet the flattery falls on deaf ears when surrounded by echoes of cringeworthy dialogue and awkwardly animated dwarves. Even the inherent magic of the original 1937 classic is nowhere to be found. Instead, viewers are left with a reimagined one-size-fits-all fairy tale that thoroughly misses its charming mark.
Disney has undoubtedly stumbled. From iron-handed embargoes on critical reviews to revised premieres with strict journalistic locks, it seems even they’ve forecasted this rainy teleportation into modernity. While audiences may not grace their fairy tales with applause this time, the laughter over its doomed debut echoes louder than any enchanted kingdom anthem. As Rachel Zegler’s wish for nonattendance came true, all we can do now is enjoy the spectacle of anticipating which crown jewel Disney might attempt to refurbish next. Meanwhile, this fairy tale has gone the way of the glass slipper—shattered and swept under the castle rug.
