In yet another episode of California’s grand experiment in radical educational policies, parents are scratching their heads over an assignment that has left many more furious than a cat in a bathtub. One dad decided enough was enough and flexed his dad muscles at a school board meeting after discovering that his daughter’s class had been instructed to “stand in a circle” and imagine they were all coming out as gay or lesbian. Yes, you read that right. Apparently, in our quest to teach inclusion, we’ve decided that pretending to be part of the LGBTQ+ community is the new version of “Simon Says.”
Now, look, there’s nothing wrong with wanting kids to be empathetic. However, pretending to be in the “coming out” process while muzzled into silence seems a tad extreme, don’t you think? How about teaching kids the importance of respecting each other’s choices without putting them through a cringe-worthy exercise? One might suggest that young minds may be better served by learning how to do long division or at least figuring out how to operate a washing machine without ruining their favorite outfit. But hey, who needs math when you could be mastering the art of pretend?
The father, fueled by equal parts confusion and a smidge of righteous indignation, took to emailing higher-ups like he was trying to crack the Da Vinci Code. The vice principal initially claimed that the assignment wasn’t even part of the curriculum. Spoiler alert: it was! After a few rounds of back-and-forth, akin to chasing one of those pesky gremlins in an arcade game, the school finally admitted the assignment was indeed on the books. This just goes to show that when it comes to transparency in schools, clarity is often as elusive as a fart in a windstorm.
And here’s the kicker: the dad wasn’t alone in his outrage. Other parents weighed in, concerned that not only was this assignment unnecessary but also potentially harmful. I mean, if we’re going to prepare kids for the real world, wouldn’t it be better to equip them with skills that literally matter, like how to balance a checkbook or avoid ridiculous Zoom calls with their boss? Just imagine trying to explain to your future employer that yes, you could form a large imaginary circle, but alas, couldn’t figure out how to balance your budget.
Not to add fuel to the fire, but let’s talk about the larger trend at play here. Some folks believe that this kind of exercise is part of a larger agenda—a way of grooming kids to accept what’s deemed “normal” in today’s society. It’s as if we’re setting the stage for a societal play where every role is dictated by an unseen director wielding a progressive script. One can’t help but wonder what kind of drama class we signed up for and whether there’s a way to opt out.
Ultimately, this new plan to mold middle school minds might benefit from a serious rethink. How about creating supportive environments that accompany all kids—straight, gay, and otherwise—without making it part of the curriculum where they can instead focus on topics that will actually help them engage with the world? Maybe an empathy workshop here and there would do the trick without requiring anyone to channel their inner “Alphabet Person.”
So, while the intention behind making kids more aware of one another might hold some merit, the execution has gone off the rails faster than a shopping cart on a hill. Let’s get back to basics and leave the imaginary circles for recess, a place where kids can enjoy a break without having to navigate an emotional minefield. After all, wouldn’t it be refreshing to focus on subjects that are relevant and truly prepare these kids for, you know, adulting?
