In a recent episode of comedy commentary that could only be described as a double shot of espresso straight from the heart of Chicago, a patron at a Dunkin’ Donuts lamented the existence of bulletproof glass at his local establishment. Now, one might think of this as a hefty serving of irony, considering that the presence of armored glass typically signals a desire for safety in environments where the customer base occasionally channels their inner grizzly bear. This fellow, however, took a different route, expressing a sense of indignation akin to being called a wild animal at the zoo because, well, it seems that’s exactly how some folks are behaving.

Imagine waking up, throwing on your best outfit—perhaps even a fresh pair of sneakers—only to be met with bulletproof glass like you’re embarking on a high-stakes heist for a morning coffee. Our Chicago friend believed this fortification made him feel like…well, an animal. But let’s be real: when the zoo puts bars between the public and the wildlife, it’s not because they want to insult the majestic beasts; it’s because those animals have been known to act feral under certain circumstances. If Dunkin’ has adopted similar measures, a little self-reflection might be in order.

Then there’s the puzzling case of stores closing down, specifically Walmarts in urban neighborhoods. Now, locals were understandably upset when four of these locations decided to pack up and head for greener pastures. One can hardly drop a bag of groceries without hearing epic tales of how the loss of local shopping hubs disproportionately impacts families. The cries of frustration almost echo like the sweet sirens of robbers trying to steal attention away from the real story: businesses aren’t in the business of charity; they’re in it to, you guessed it, turn a profit.

While folks lament the loss of their community stores, the numbers tell a different story. Walmart, for instance, has reported losses in these neighborhoods and is, quite frankly, just following the statistics—much like a raccoon avoiding traps in a populated area. It’s unfortunate, no doubt! But the reality is, when you’re in the business of selling things, you can’t keep your doors open if you’re losing money faster than a politician can rattle off empty promises during a campaign speech.

Now, imagine trying to solve the riddle of why these businesses are shuttering. Some residents think the closures signal racial injustice, but one only needs to remember that not all neighborhoods act the same. Just like how the Dunkin’ Donuts dichotomy showcases lively exchanges that can quickly turn chaotic, Walmart’s struggle reflects a broader, systemic issue—an issue that’s typically overlooked in the blame game. With that mindset, the responses can often resemble vending machine snacks: completely out of touch and ultimately unhelpful when you’re just trying to grab a bite.

A little humor mixed with hindsight calls us to open our eyes. The solutions to these problems won’t come from emotional protests or blaming the nearby coffee shop’s security measures. Rather, they’ll spring from a willingness to understand the system and to acknowledge the behaviors that some have deemed “animalistic.” It’s about time someone said it: a little self-awareness never hurt anyone, and it could just lead the way to more productive conversations about community, responsibility, and growth. Now, pass the coffee, please; we’ve got some serious discussions to brew!