As if the political drama couldn’t get any spicier, Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has taken his act overseas—South Africa, to be exact—even while claiming he’s as broke as a college student the day before allowance. But wait, dear readers, who foots the bill for this sudden tropical retreat? That’s right, the American taxpayer, thanks to the Secret Service protection he still enjoys. This trip to Cape Town isn’t just some backpacking trip. Oh no, Hunter is reportedly savoring life on the beachfront for a jaw-dropping $500 a night. That’s a whole lot of avocado toast!

So what’s the deal anyway? Surprise, surprise, Hunter’s controversial laptop is back in the headlines—well, it never really left. The First Son seems to be dodging a courtroom deposition related to this infamous device. Instead of making it to court, he’s decided a three-month sabbatical to a scenic locale is better. Anyone else getting déjà vu of a certain other celebrity relocating abroad when things got a little too hot at home? True, Hunter claims that wildfires back in California have complicated his life, but it’s a little hard to pity him while he’s sipping mocktails by the sea.

Now, Hunter isn’t just chilling on the taxpayer’s dime out there. There’s this fun little legal twist. See, he wants to drop a lawsuit tied to his laptop’s contents, presumably because pressing forward might involve answering some awkward questions. But savvy parties on the other side aren’t letting this slide, advocating for their legal costs to be covered before any dismissal. So while Hunter claims destitution, others cry foul—especially as he’s living it up with ocean breezes, courtesy of South African hospitality.

The adventure also touches on Hunter’s family dynamics. His woes aren’t just legal; part of it, it seems, is trying to maintain a complex family life with South African ties. His fifth—or was it sixth?—spouse hails from the Rainbow Nation herself. Yet amidst this personal excitement, one has to wonder how many more “lost” court documents and tactical delays will come to light. It’s good for flexibility in yoga, but perhaps less so when it comes to the judicial system.

And the tax-paying public? Well, they’re left navigating the murky waters of this political sideshow. Hunter’s South African escape will remain a subplot to observe, complete with beachside relaxation and an entourage of federal protection. Who knows where this storyline will lead next—though smart money bets it won’t involve a California courtroom anytime soon. As for us, we’ll keep the popcorn handy; this saga shows no sign of concluding quietly.