As Thanksgiving approaches, it seems that the ever-quickening demise of gratitude has become a hot topic. While most normal people relish the thought of turkey, family, and a well-timed football nap, in certain circles there are those who prefer to label this cherished holiday as outdated and politically incorrect. It’s like watching someone bring a salad to a barbecue—a recipe for awkwardness and a bizarre dish that nobody asked for. But let’s unpack the grievances of these self-identified Thanksgiving refugees who might be too emotionally drained for a simple family meal.

One particularly poignant example featured a learned individual proclaiming his reluctance to join the Thanksgiving festivities. He cited the need to protect his “emotional energy” and avoid relatives who, in his eyes, have failed to engage in their own personal healing journeys. While there are undeniably toxic family dynamics that deserve to be addressed, this kind of intellectual snobbery raises more than a few eyebrows. Perhaps instead of declaiming the supposed emotional toxicity of family members over a hearty meal, one might consider the irony of declaring oneself a champion of authenticity while simultaneously opting out of familial love. After all, is it not the self-claimed “healer” who seems more encumbered—navigating their way through holidays with invisible emotional armor while allowing others no room for flawed humanity?

Going beyond family dynamics, the ongoing sniping about political ideology enters the fray like an ill-timed punchline at a family dinner. Take, for example, the lamentation that Thanksgiving should inherently come with the burden of recognizing historical grievances. Apparently, some folks feel that they cannot eat turkey without reflecting on every injustice of the past. Well, here’s a wild idea: what if one chose to celebrate the present? There’s nothing quite like the taste of sweet potatoes to remind you that life is about all the happiness we can squeeze out of it, even with a side of uncomfortable history.

To those who argue against the celebration because of historical transgressions, it’s crucial to remember that the story of humanity is filled with triumph and tragedy alike. Inviting your relatives to talk about sensitive topics is all well and good, but turning a day of gratitude into a seminar on settler colonialism won’t change the fact that Aunt Judy’s stuffing remains the highlight of your gastronomical year. After all, stuffing’s primary job is to fill bellies, not hearts with despair over the past. If one is looking to bleed out emotional pain at Thanksgiving, may I suggest going for a brisk walk instead?

Thanksgiving has historically served as a moment to gather friends and family, share a meal, and yes, even listen to Uncle Larry’s bewildering anecdotes about the stray cats he’s befriended. These gatherings remind us that, while we may not agree on every single point of view, our love for each other—or rather, the absence of hunger, given the culinary capabilities of Aunt Susan—far outweighs the more sensational political discussions that could derail dinner like a runaway train. Instead of focusing solely on ideological divides, why not relish the small and often amusing moments of connection shared over turkey and gravy? You might just find that laughter can bridge the most significant gaps.

So, for the disenchanted souls planning their Thanksgiving escape routes this year, a final thought: put down the self-help book and pick up a fork. If you sit down with family, not despite their flaws but because of them, you might just discover that the very basis of family is the acceptance of imperfection—a rich tapestry of love and occasional awkwardness that adds flavor to the feast. In a world so eager to compartmentalize and cancel, perhaps the greatest act of rebellion is to sit down, break bread, and give thanks for the simple fact that we can still gather together, twerk our grievances away, and indulge in the unrefined joy of being human. So Happy Thanksgiving, everyone—may your plates be full and your hearts even fuller.